Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Facing Motality

I have not blogged in almost a month. It seems like I have come face to face with my mortality and I am trying to deal with it. My Mom's health has started to decline it is hard to witness plus I share some of the diseases she suffers from. She has not taken care of herself and I am not doing a good job of taking care of myself either. In late 2006;early 2007 I faced a terrible emotional upheaval I tell myself I have put it behind me, but I never was good at taking care of myself ; always taking care of others. And now I seem to have given up on myself. I have reached the highest weight of my life 210. That's bad for a 5'4" woman who has diabetes and high blood pressure.
I know I need to lose weight and to exercise but I just seem to be stuck in park.
I thought I was on the right track last year when I opened my etsy shop I was finally doing something I wanted to do and my creativity was starting to show up.
But now I don't seem able to create anything. It's like I have lost my zest for life. Everyone keeps pulling at me to do for them and I am tired I expected to be able to do things for myself at this stage of my life but instead I am stuck in park with my insides overheating.
I know this probably makes no sense I am just rambling but I am trying to get back on track and quit wasting my life. Life is short and I really do want to enjoy the remainder of mine. I don't want to be like mom depressed, bitter, and negative.
Hopefully I will figure a way to make it out of this dark place.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings hopefully the next update will be more upbeat and not so far apart.

1 comment:

Rosemary said...


((((hugs)))) to you my friend. I am so sorry that life is getting you down. I know it is so hard to watch your parent(s) go down- especially a mother. I'll send a prayer up for you for strength, guidance, and endurance to face what lies ahead.

The good thing is that you realize somethings that you need to do for yourself and I hope you will make time to take care of "Hazel" too!